Alles wird gut

It’s been a while!!

I’ll try to sum up the past two weeks in a nice little blog post. Instead of telling you every detail of what I’ve done, I would like to tell you a little bit more about what I have learned in these past two weeks.

First, a little about what I’ve done. I spent a weekend in Amsterdam. While I was there, I learned what people mean by culture shock. I’ve traveled to foreign countries (I believe Amsterdam made the Netherlands my sixteenth country?), but I have never experienced culture shock quite like this. The pace of the city was way faster than anywhere I’ve ever been. I was there for one night, but I swear it was gone within the blink of an eye. We stayed on a camp ground a ways out of the city which was fun and refreshing.

Another big event within the past two weeks was my host-sister, Nora’s, Abifeiern. The best way to explain this is that she just finished her first 13 years of school (similar to a high school graduation). It was so fun to celebrate with her and see everyone dressed up and celebrating their education. The class of approx. 23 has been together for all thirteen years of schooling, and now they are going their separate ways. It was so fun to see pictures and hear stories about Nora and her friends. We ate, drank, and danced the night away in celebration.

Something else of note is that I went to confession in German. As someone who is always afraid to go to confession, even after convincing myself time and time again there is nothing to be afraid of, I have never felt fear as strong as preparing to give a confession in a foreign language. The good news is, God is full of Grace and love. And His perfect love drives out fear. So, if you ever are afraid of going to confession, I want you to know exactly what the priest said to me when I told him German wasn't my native language: "Alles wird gut." "Everything will be good." The grace that comes from conquering the fear of the confessional, in English or German, is a relief and joy that cannot be described. It can only be experienced. 

So. Now you know a little about what I have done, here is what I have learned.

Going to the Netherlands made me realize how comfortable I have become being surrounded by the German language. It is perfectly normal to use public transportation and shopping in stores where everything is in German. While we were in Amsterdam, everything was in Dutch and English. Even though I could read it in English, it was strange not being able to speak the native language of the country. Living in Germany and speaking German has allowed me to view this culture first hand. I can fully immerse myself in it because I am not bound entirely by language barriers. My German is nowhere near perfect, but the fact that I can communicate with Germans in their native language gives me so much joy. I do not need to rely on them to speak my language; instead I have the joy of understanding them and speaking in a way that they can understand me. Even when my grammar is imperfect and my sentence structure is way out of whack, I am so happy to have the opportunity to try my German and to grow through my mistakes.

This leads me to my next lesson: humility. Learning a language forces me to be humble.  I am forced to speak slowly and use a limited word bank. I do a lot of pointing and stuttering as I try to get my point across. I can’t speak eloquently; I can only speak enough to communicate, but that is enough. I have built relationships solely in the German language, relationships with my host family and classmates. I have lived in a culture so different than mine, that I realize exactly how small I am in this big world. So many people can speak English that it is easy to take language for granted. Living in a German-speaking world has shown me how much bigger the world is. People live in this language and love in this language and it is perfectly normal for them!

I have fallen in love over and over again with the German language. I have been able to accept the fact that my speaking isn’t perfect, but the important thing is that I am communicating. The reason this is so important to me, is that I have such a hard time sometimes putting my thoughts and emotions into words (English or German). After having to fully express myself in another language, I have realized that it doesn’t matter how long it takes me to get my point across, or what word choice I use. If I express myself out of love and with sincere good intention, the words will come and I will be able to communicate. Communication is so important. It is easy to take it for granted, but it is such an incredible gift to be able to build relationships with one another through communication of any kind.

Moral of the above rant: Speak up. Let yourself be heard. Your words are valued and you deserve to be heard.

Speaking of language, there is a funny little word that I think people don’t fully understand. I know that I continue to learn everyday how this word takes effect in our world. The word is idolize. It seems like such a old fashioned biblical word. I remember always thinking about the story of the golden calf and how the people idolized it, and how ridiculous of a thing idolization was. Then I realized how sneaky it is in my life.

What does this have to do with travel?

It is easy to idolize travel. It is so easy to think “If I were somewhere else, I would be happy.” Or “I just need a vacation to clear my mind.” These past two weeks have taught me something crucial: Travel doesn’t make people happy.

I absolutely love traveling, and I am so passionate about taking trips and seeing the world. I am always so happy when I travel, but I have learned that traveling is not the source of this joy. While I am traveling, especially now that I’m traveling on my own, I am completely dependent on God. As soon as I wake up in the morning, I start my day in a foreign language. I walk out the front door and am greeted by signs and maps entirely in German. I walk the streets of the beautiful city of Dusseldorf that has only been my home for six weeks, and I trust that God is with me. I am happy when I travel, that is for sure. This happiness is the joy that comes from placing my trust entirely in God. He is the source of my joy. I have always felt close to God when I travel (Shout out to bus church from 2008 that helped me realize this.) This closeness is an experience that is magnified each time I take a leap of faith and accept that God is much more in control than I am. It is so easy to idolize travel, but it is so fulfilling to recognize the beauty of God’s world and the truth that he is always in control.

The last lesson for today, the one that I have found to be extremely refreshing is gratefulness for my education. The classes I’m taking here have a variety of students. The students in the class are all here because they want to learn German. They may want to learn it to study in Germany or work in Germany or for their university at home, but the point is, they want to learn. We sit in a classroom for four hours every day, and we put in the work so we can better understand the material. Sure we want to pass the test, but it is more important to us that we gain a better understanding of the language. People ask for homework because they want the extra practice. They ask that we practice the most difficult tasks, even when they are not enjoyable, because we have a desire to conquer them.

I am here to learn German, but I have learned so many more valuable lessons in the process, that I couldn’t even list them all if I tried.